He's here!

We welcomed Drew Steven Hansen into the world on July 11th, 2013. Here are a few updates, and a lot of pictures!

Birth story: If you've been following along for a while, you know that Drew was breech and was scheduled to be delivered via c-section on July 13th. While I was originally disappointed about the c-section, by the time July rolled around I had pretty much come to terms with it and was more just excited to meet Drew. My lingering disappointment about the c-section was only that I wouldn't get the experience of going into labor; instead I would just show up at the hospital for surgery (bor-ing). Knowing that, you can imagine my joy when I went into labor early on the morning of July 11th - a whole week before Drew's due date!

The night before I went into labor we went out to dinner for my sister's birthday. I was having some cramping during and after dinner, but I thought it was because I was full from all the yummy food. I also knew I was close to my due date, so I thought it was just my body preparing for the end of the pregnancy. That night I woke up around 1:00 AM because my arms were numb again. My typical routine when this would happen was to go into the living room and watch a movie to pass the time until sleep would eventually overtake my body despite the numbness in my arms. I got all set up on the couch, and still couldn't really fall asleep because I was having cramps. I assumed they were just Braxton-Hicks contractions, but I decided to time them "just for fun". I had downloaded a contraction timer app on my iPhone, and was sad that I wouldn't actually get to use it with the c-section. So, I thought it would be fun to at least time my Braxton-Hicks contractions over the course of the movie.

It's a good thing I started timing the contractions, because over the course of two hours they increased to be every 7 minutes! At 3:00 AM, I decided to wake Kyle up. I wasn't sure I was actually in labor, but I knew we were supposed to call my doctor if I was having contractions less than 10 minutes apart. The contractions were picking up in intensity: they were painful enough that I couldn't talk or walk during them, but they weren't lasting longer than 30 to 60 seconds so they were what I would call "manageable". They were exactly what I thought contractions would be like!

Kyle called my doctor (who happened to already be at the hospital as she was on call that night, praise the Lord), and she said to definitely make our way in. What happened next was kind of surreal. We casually finished packing up our hospital bags, stopping every 7 or so minutes to get through a contraction. Kyle remembered his support role perfectly and was able to help me breath through the contractions. It felt like we were packing for a weird vacation...grabbing our phone chargers, toothbrushes, change of clothes, etc. We finished packing and headed out to the car. The drive in was also surreal...what do you talk about? I remember we were both bright eyed and excited, but also nervous for what the next few hours would be like. Would they send me home? Was I in labor? Would we meet Drew today?!

When we arrived at the hospital, we had to go through ER because of the time of night. They had a wheelchair waiting for me and insisted that Kyle wheel me to the birthing center. Totally unnecessary, but kind of fun! We got to the birthing center and they got us checked into a room. They hooked me up to monitor my contractions and confirmed that sure enough, I was in labor. Once that determination was made, it was maybe another 45 minutes before they had me on the operating table. In that 45 minutes, they got Kyle suited up to be in the surgery room, had me meet with the anesthesiologist, talk with my doctor, get to know my nurses, and get me prepped for the c-section. The staff was moving swiftly, but not in a way that felt rushed or panicky. Kyle and I had some time alone before the c-section, during which Kyle prayed for me, baby Drew, and the doctors, and we thanked God for what was about to happen. We were about to meet our son!

As we were leaving our room to head to the operating room, my dad and sister came rushing in. We had been trying to get a hold of our families for hours! They are all very sound sleepers, apparently. I was so happy to see my dad and sister, and know that my mom was on her way. I hugged them and then headed off to meet baby Drew.

Despite being major surgery, the operating room was very calm. The nurses were 100% attentive to my needs, my doctor was so comforting, nd the anesthesiologist was fabulous. So many of the things I was worried about turned out to be non-issues. The spinal block hardly hurt at all, and I couldn't feel a THING during the c-section. The only part that was pretty awful was I had the really strong urge to want to sit up; I didn't like being "stuck" on my back on the table. The anesthesiologist said it was the drugs that were making me feel a little claustrophobic/trapped, and he made sure to help counteract with anti-nausea drugs (which helped). Also, I was mistaken in thinking I would lose that "teamwork" experience with Kyle by not having a vaginal birth; Kyle was right by my head the entire time, and I could not have made it through without his support in my ear.

Because I felt so well cared for, I had no problem with Kyle leaving my side when Drew came out. At the time Drew was born (6 minutes in!) I was feeling incredibly claustrophobic and I actually didn't want to see Drew. I didn't want anything else close to my face. I remember telling Kyle just to hold Drew and love him for the both of us until I was done with the surgery. I could hear Drew, and I could hear Kyle talking to Drew, and that was more than enough for me. Near the end of the procedure, a new nurse came in the room. She must have known that what a mom really needs is to see her son. Also, the drugs must have really been working in my favor. Or maybe it was that I knew they were almost done. The new nurse encouraged Kyle to move Drew into my line of sight where I could see him, and all of the sudden the whole operating room went away and all I could see was my husband and my son. And I didn't care about anything else.

We stayed in the hospital for two more days, and had a wonderful stay. The staff was so great, we didn't want to leave! Over the time we were there, Drew had an endless stream of visitors. It was so wonderful to feel so supported and watch everyone love on Drew!

Drew: Drew was born 19.5 inches long, 6lbs 13oz. He dropped down to 6lbs the week after his birth, and is now over 9lbs at 4 weeks old. Growing boy! Drew loves snuggling on mom's chest, sucking on dad's pinky finger, and having his hands by his face. He also likes to quietly look around, and likes being warm when he sleeps (like, sweaty warm...just like his dad). Of course we think he's just the most wonderful little guy ever, and we're loving every (sleepless) moment with him.

Wrist update: A lot have asked how my wrists are doing. In the hospital, they got a lot worse. The fluids from the c-section IVs caused them to become more swollen to the point that me caring for Drew on my own was nearly impossible. Over the last four weeks however, they have improved slowly. At this point, I'm left with my three middle fingers on each hand varying degrees of numb. We went back to the wrist doctor to see what happens next: do we just keep waiting or what? Given the slow recovery rate I'm experiencing coupled with the certainty that this would happen again with future pregnancies, he strongly recommenced I get carpel tunnel release surgery on both wrists to fully wipe this problem out. Last week I went in for some incredibly painful testing (that involved shocking my nerves and sticking multiple needles in my arms) to confirm that yes I do indeed have carpel tunnel and resulting nerve damage from the whole ordeal. Surgery would reverse the nerve damage as well as resolve the carpel tunnel.

So, we're doing the surgeries. August 14th (right) and August 28th (left). I'm not thrilled about it, but I am hopeful at having relief. Finally. Apparently they do a nerve block on your arm, much like a spinal block during a c-section. Because I'm breastfeeding, I can't have any drugs to help relax me before the procedure. So I'll be relying on the power of prayer (both yours and mine) to get me through the part where they do the nerve block. But, I guess if I'd made it through a c-section, what's a little wrist surgery...right? The recovery is supposed to be quick (2-10 days), so you can be praying for the short side of that range as well.

Alright, now onto the good part. Pictures!! When I had to choose been editing photos and sleep, I chose sleep. To here they are, unedited in all their glory.

Final bump pic @ 39 weeks (taken about 8 hours before I went into labor)

Checking in to our room

Kyle getting suited up!

C-section about to commence!

Kyle's view

Baby Drew - tushy first - making his way into the world! 

Kyle meeting Baby Drew while they finished with my c-section.

Me properly meeting Baby Drew back in our room.

Family pic! (Thank you IV fluids for making my face twice it's normal size!)

Drew in his new happy place

Drew discovering he loves to suck on dad's finger

Snuggly little guy

Drew had a lot visitors come by:

L to R: Frauntie (Friend Auntie) Eleni, Mackenzie (who I used to nanny when she was little),
Kyle's Aunt Donna and cousin Tiffany, and Frauntie Chelsea

L to R: Drew's great-grandma Eva, grandpa Peter, Auntie Brooke, grandma Jo

L to R: Drew's grandma Mary Ann, Uncle Zeke and Auntie Bekah, Auntie Heather, Grandpa Steve, and cousin Cope

Visitors not pictured: cousin-aunties Ashley and Alice, Frauntie Danna, Great Aunt Cheryl, and Mackenzie's mom Suzan. (I hope I'm not forgetting anyone!).

Ready to go home!

We call this "noodle pose"

Meeting great grandpa Bob and great grandma Pat

Drew's happy place: sleeping on mom's chest!

Our little Drewdle Bug :-)

Dad gets a burp out of Drew every single time!

Kyle and I's first "date night" with Drew: walk around Edmonds and frozen yogurt for dinner!

Some of Drew's hang outs: the car seat, his swing, and mom and dad's bed

Giving it grace: You know that feeling when you are excited for a new chapter in your life, but once you get going with it you have that nagging feeling that it's not quite what you wanted it to be? For me, being a mom is the exact polar opposite of that. While there is nothing that can prepare you for the lack of sleep and constant demands of a newborn, these last four weeks have been everything I thought they would be - good and bad. This may be all the postnatal hormones talking, but for once, I finally feel that I am doing what God created me for and planned for me to do...love and serve Jesus, love and serve my husband, and love and serve our child(ren).

The last month has been filled with tears, prayers, words of encouragement (and lots of words of repentance), hugs, and many, many new lessons on who our God is. One lesson in particular came to me last night. When I was rocking Drew to sleep at 3:30 in the morning, I found myself so incredibly frustrated. I yelled in my head "you sleep during the day! I know you can sleep, you've proven it today! Just SLEEP right now!" In the silence of the room that followed, I was then reminded of how God could easily get equally frustrated with me. When I used to spend my money on possessions but not give to the church, He could have easily yelled "she has money to spend, yet she wont give it to the church!". Or when I continually check my Facebook but don't crack open my Bible, He could sigh and say "I know she can read. She reads her Facebook all day long, but yet not her Bible!"

Yes God could easily be as frustrated with me as I was with Drew. Yet God gives me grace, instead. And with that reminder, I prayed that God would give me the same grace to continue rocking Drew to sleep. And he did, because His grace abounds.

(And Drew then slept the longest night sleep he's ever done. And Kyle and I rejoiced over 4 straight hours of sleep!)

Final update before D-Day!

In my last pregnancy post, I was talking in detail about the pain I've been having in my hands and arms. At the end of the post, I noted that I was given cortisone shots and that made the pain bearable.

Sadly, the pain-relieving effects of the shots only seemed to last about 12 days before a familiar tingling/burning/numbness returned. I was devastated, but somewhat hopeful because I thought I could get another round of shots. I was even more devastated when we returned to the doctor and he said I actually could NOT get another round of shots. The doctor wasn't concerned about Drew, but explained to me that all that cortisone in such a small area (the wrist) is actually not good for me.

Devastated as I was, at least at that point I knew there was nothing I could do. Sometimes just knowing the hard truth is enough. At the end of the appointment, he remarked that I could always just ask for an early c-section and that would assuredly put an end to all the pain (the pain is essentially caused by the swelling that happens during pregnancy). I remember forcing a fake smile and muttering some type of agreement with his comment. In my head I was thinking, "ya right! I'm so done with talking about potential c-sections!" After our previous "scare" with maybe needing to have a c-section, I definitely did not want to re-visit that idea.

The next day, I headed off to my OBGYN for my now-weekly check-ins. This appointment was the big 36 week appointment, and Kyle was there to discuss our birth plan with the doctor. After discussing our birth plan (or birth "preference" as I like to call it), we were all set to head out the door. My doctor had previously mentioned doing a quick ultrasound at the 36 week appointment, and that popped into my head right before we walked out the door. My doctor agreed we might as well just take a peek at Drew and see how he is doing, and just double-confirm that he was head down.

Good thing we checked. Drew was not head down; he was very, very breech. What we had thought was his little tushy poking out just at the top of my stomach was actually his head all along. The doctor had previously been confident in his positioning just by pushing around on my stomach, so needless to say you could see the shock and alarm on her face to find out that Drew was breech.

Babies usually turn themselves by week 37; less than 5% of babies remain breech after that point. If you are going to attempt to have them turned manually by your doctor, its recommended you do so by the end of your 37th week. That gave us six days to do a external cephalic version procedure (Warning: the link is to a video that is somewhat shocking if you've never seen a live version procedure before...or even just a bare naked pregnancy belly! Also, that is NOT me in the video.). We learned about the procedure, prayed about it, and decided to go ahead an attempt to have him turned.

I'll skip to the end: the procedure didn't work. It was incredibly painful, and each time we attempted to turn him his heart rate dropped. After three attempts, Kyle and my doctor decided to call it off. While I was completely awake for the procedure, I don't remember much as my only focus was on breathing through the pain. I was relieved to hear Kyle tell me that we were done. I was defeated to learn that this meant, without question, that Drew would have to be delivered via c-section.

Oh, the irony. There we were, back at the conversation. AGAIN. I let out a few good sobs, before I looked up at Kyle and my doctor, and just knew that it was going to be ok. Again, God showed up and lovingly comforted me through those around me.

The likelihood of Drew turning on his own at this point is very, very slim. The c-section is scheduled for July 13th, and we can't wait to meet Drew. We're curious to see if the doctor will be able to tell why he is breech (is it my uterus? the cord? a fluke?). I've reached out to some close friends who have had c-sections, as well as spoken at length to my doctor, and I feel very confident that despite this not being our ideal option for birth, it's still a pretty great option as we get to meet Drew at the end of it! Every time I start to fixate on major abdominal surgery, I force myself to think minutes past that moment to the part where we get to see our son for the first time. Works every time :-)

Alright, now that you're all up-to-date, here are the last 4 weeks bump pics!

For some reason, this last week has seemed incredibly long. I was grateful for the 4th of July to look forward to, because we had great plans for this year's holiday. It was Kyle's grandma's 90th birthday, and we joined her with EIGTHY of her friends and family to celebrate her love and legacy. Seriously, I don't even have eighty friends, what an amazing woman!

Hapyp Birthday Grandma Eva!

Drew got his own name tag :-)

To watch the fireworks, we headed down to Edmonds to get a good spot. We were joined by our friends Sam and Crystal and their lively kiddos, as well as Kyle's brother Zeke and his wife Bekah. A great group to watch the show with! The show was amazing, and I can't wait to take Drew next year!

Giving it grace: Between the pain in my hands returning, and the realization that I will be giving birth via c-section after all, the last few weeks had the potential to be really rough. Physically and emotionally. And to be clear, it has been a struggle to continue to work through the pain in my hands. And it was challenging to come to terms with the reality of knowing that Drew will be a c-section birth.

In my last pregnancy update post, I talked a lot about God's comforts. And God's comfort has continued to be constant, even in the face of physical and emotional pain. God's comfort comes in many forms (people, knowledge, experiences, etc), but the most important aspect of His comfort is He is at the end of it. Meaning, it's not about the comfort so much as it's about knowing and seeking after the God that provides it. Just being after His comfort is not enough - and can be dangerous. When someone is suffering and wildly chasing after relief (or comfort), they can be led astray by the enemy. Satan is certainly willing to give temporary comfort in exchange for eternal suffering in hell. In God's grace, He has kept me (and Kyle) focused on Him and what He provides. I know this to be true, because God hasn't provided the ultimate comfort we selfishly are after: alleviation of pain in my wrists, and for Drew to miraculously and safely turn over and no longer be breech. No, those things God has not provided at this time. Yet we are still comforted by Him and His mighty plan. And by His grace, our primary goal is not to achieve the comforts we so desire, but to point all the glory back to God in this experience. In this scenario, the glory goes to God for being the creator of life, period. Everything else just pails in comparison to that.

This will be my last update before Drew comes. With the pain I'm still having in my hands/wrists, typing takes foreverrrrr. I'm praying that the next time I post, I will be doing so pain free (at least in my hands!). We're also praying for a happy delivery, and a healthy baby boy!